Use of Allah in Bible

Email received from a friend:
Herald Catholic

Well anyway Dick, you wanna put “Allah” in your bible huh? Sure why not.. Can you write a petition too that each and every Bible in the world, right from the Coptic gospels in North Africa, to each RSV copy in the European countries, the testaments used by the Eastern Orthodox churches, the numerous King James issues everywhere else, and all the different kinds of gospels that the Vatican keep, both the ones made public plus the ones that are not, be made to have “Allah” in them too? I am sure the Pope would be happy to hear from you.

What’s that? Oh you want to put Allah ONLY in the areas where there are only malay populations! Ah I see. In other words you want to mislead and convert.
Well that’s a tad difficult, Dicky boy. You see, if you really believe that Allah is the name of God in the bible then I am sure that the Pope and the numerous DD’s in America and Europe would have put it there too. But you see, they don’t! They just wanna put it there in the case of the Malaysian and Indonesian audience for one and ONLY one purpose: to hopefully mislead the malays into thinking that they are all the saaaaame, anyway. That’s easier for the purpose of conversion, you see. Let’s not beat around the bush.

But that’s where the problem is, Rick old man. The entity called “Allah” as mentioned in the Qur’an is NOT the same as the entity “God” in your bible. What do you mean of course they are. Of course they are not! Why? Simply because … the word “God” does not mean “Allah”.

God is a description. A depiction of a mighty being. Allah is a NAME of a mighty being. The difference? Simple. I tabulate here that simplicity:-

Base :: In Bible/other Literature :: In Quran
Base Noun :: God :: Allah
Plurality :: Gods :: None
Gender :: Goddess:: None
GenderPlurality ::Goddesses: : None
Sub-entities: : Godlings::None
Others :: Godlingettes :: None

You see Dicky Ricky, we can also associate or attach verbs and adjectives to the word God but not to the word Allah. The verbs [Godly, Godliness, Godliest, Goddamn, Godforsaken] can therefore be translated to [Ter-Allah, Ke-Allah-an, Ter-Allah sekali, diCelakakan- Allah, diTinggalkan Allah]. Now if that doesn’t sound ridiculous, I am the father of Prince William.

Oh and Ritchie, we must not also forget the world of Arts, Literature and Entertainment, where the usage of the word God, if catapulted to Allah, will … err… sound a bit less hollywoodish: –

Children of a Lesser God (Film): Anak-anak dari Allah yang sedikit kureng
The God of Small Things (Arundhati Roy novel): Allah bagi bende-bende yang kecil
Of Gods and Men (Star Trek drama) : Perihal Allah-Allah dan Manusia
Chariots of the Gods (von Daniken book): Kereta-kereta kuda Allah-Allah
God of the Machine (Isabel Patterson novel): Allah bagi Jentera
Hammer of the Gods (Led Zeppelin wanna-be band): Tukul Besi Allah-Allah

(Ishh. I takut thunderbolt strikes my head jer bila do these blasphemous translations! )

You see, Dicksie my man, I suggest that reaaaaaally the bible should adopt the name Allah in totality. And by that I mean the world over, not just for the Malaysian audience. Because the word God is not suitable at all. It can be freely used to describe objects other than divinity, and sometimes something just opposite to it:-

Gods – Upper Seatings in a theatre
Godland – Title of Comic Series
So Ricardo dear, if there are sooooooooooooo many things that you can manipulate with the word God as used in the Bible that you can’t possibly do with the name Allah, to what purpose is it that you still want to translate that name for? Of course, if your bible writers now sincerely repent their ways and start to use Allah in ALL the copies of the bible in this world, we muslims are more than just happy to help.

“Ah But these are just semantics. Word gymnastics. We are talking more about the entity that both Muslims and Christians agree as the creator of the heavens and the Earth. Surely you can’t be saying that these are two different entities? And if they aren’t, why can’t we use the same for both Bible and Qur’an?” Do I hear you say that Ritchie Rich?

Well first and foremost, are we REALLY talking about the same God now? The same Allah? Let’s see if they really are the same:-

God in the Bible: Has a begotten Son
Allah in the Quran: Doesn’t have this feature
God in the Bible: One of a Trio of Godhood
Allah in the Quran: Doesn’t have this feature
God in the Bible: Vengeful
Allah in the Quran: Doesn’t have this feature
God in the Bible: Jealous
Allah in the Quran: Nope
God in the Bible: Prejudicial to women
Allah in the Quran: Nada
God in the Bible: Racist to blacks
Allah in the Quran: Uh-uh

Oh and you must not forget the other human qualities that this Deity has, as promulgated in the bible. That wrestling match God had will inspire more than just WWW’s The Rock. Don’t laugh, folks. The OT did mention that He came down, wrestled with Jacob and lost too. What, He couldn’t un-grip Jacob’s tiger-lock? And at the incident of that Canaa wedding, this God has a Son who tempelak his mum, the Mother of God, by saying “Woman! What have I to do with thee?”. Ish. Kalau my kid tempelak me like that I sure would have him tempeleng-ed. Ah, some divine family indeed.

In fact it is for THIS despicable nonconformity alone must the muslims, the malays in this country defend the sanctity and the purity of the name Allah that, if fell unto these biblical thumpers, can be sooooo much downgraded, so much disrespect, so much blasphemous and sooo much … ungodly that anyone reading it would lose total respect, admiration, adoration to this so sacred a divine concept! I am just afraid that no sooner than this downgrading of the divinity of Allah is done by mere translation by these bible preachers than Kiai Arshad Sarip of Ulu Bendul come out of retirement or Pak Aji Bahari from Bongek, Rembau takes his time out from herding his water buffaloes to chase these blasphemers away.

Now to be fair to our friend Ritchie Kitchie here, let’s tolak ansur okay. He wants to put the name Allah in the bible. Tell you what. I will help pulas the arms of our pak-pak lebai in JAKIM and let you do just that, Richard, provided the following declaration is written in front of each and every copy of the bible:-

“Be it known here that the Allah mentioned in this here Bible is the same Allah as the one found in the Quran, and not a different Allah. And because of this, it goes without saying that whatever that Allah says in the Quran is True, especially in regards to Christianity, Jesus Christ and Mary without any false interpretations. It also follows that the Quranic verses
(5.116), (61.6), (4.157), (4.171-173), (19.88-19.93) are true without the slightest doubt”

I have a twice-removed cousin who has a printing company doing Raya cards and Lumba kuda calenders, be happy to reprint all your bibles and include those statements for peanuts, if all goes well.

Apocryphalist.

**************

NOTE: To the original writer – please give us your name so that we would be able to accord the credit appropriately. Wassalam

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